Goodbye, Cigarette, My Old Friend

I won't be seeing you again.
Because the voices softly speaking,
Interrupt my peaceful sleeping.
And the addiction that was planted in my brain,
Still remains,
Within the sound of withdrawl.

(with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)

That's right. Thanks to the good ol' U.S. government, I'll be quitting soon.

When the last tax hike went into effect, and it pushed brand name cigarettes over $4 a pack, I switched to lesser known brands. Then, when that was getting hard to afford, I switched to rolling my own. I spend a half-hour making a pack of my own, for about $.90 a pack.

But now, the government has apparently realized that they forgot to up the tax on bulk tobacco last time, and are making up for it now. The price of my tobacco has tripled. (And brand name smokes are almost $6 a pack here in Ohio now.) So now I literally can't afford the habit.

I feel bad for my wife. She's going to have to put up with me when the cigs run out. I'll be absolutely miserable for about a week as my brain tries to figure out how to work without the nicotine again. I'm only hoping to avoid the nausea and headaches that usually come with nicotine withdrawl.

I know it's really for the best. I think if I had one more person tell me just what smoking does to you, or any of that other crap, I was gonna go nuts. I know it will make me healthier. I know it's good for my wife, my child, and anyone else around.

But it doesn't make it any easier. Nicotine is a nasty bitch mistress. I know. I've "tried" to quit before. I've only ever made it about 24 hours before I was craving terribly. Last time I tried cold turkey. I ended up wanting one so badly I was going through the butts in the trash, picking out four or five "good" ones to try and get just a few more puffs. This time I think I'm going to try weaning myself down. And hiding one or two in the apartment just in case. Just enough to get me over that first hurdle, but not enough to keep going.

I know, I know. I'm whining.

I've got to quit. And I just don't wanna.

Oh well.